Tuesday, September 20, 2016


Last week, on Thursday, September 15th and Friday, September 16th, 2016, our household raised an Ebenezer to our great, wise and merciful God!  A perfect ending to a 17 year journey of testing and trial for myself and my family.

Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen,
and called the name of it Ebenezer
[that is, The stone of help], saying, “Here the Lord helped us.”
1 Sam 7:12

The past 17 years have been filled with many trials, much testing, grief, sadness, and sacrifice concerning my side of the family. In short, my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in the year 1999. My dad passed away suddenly in April of 2003. (And, I gave birth to my two children during this time.) We assisted Mom in moving from Virginia to California where we lived together for almost two years. It was two years full of constant drama—anger, resentment, manipulation, lies, hallucinations—and filled with much prayer and many tears.
Mom decided to move to Arizona with her boyfriend, who was really using her for financial gain, in 2005. Mom passed away in July of 2007 leaving me with a mess of financial red tape and a house in Arizona that I couldn’t sell.  We subsequently decided to rent the house so we became long distance landlords.  Many a headache and heartache occurred during the nine year ordeal of renting including significant property damage and a suicide on the property.

In light of all of this, I committed myself to explain it this way: the righteous and the wise, along with everything they do, are in the hands of God. Furthermore, as to love and hate, no human being knows everything concerning them.
Ecclesiastes 9:1

And yet, God has led us on an amazing journey the past 17 years.  One of faith building, character building, hope and blessing. He has taught us more about true sacrifice, about the depth of unconditional love, about forgiveness and pure grace. He demonstrated His grace, His might, His sovereignty and His love every step of the way.  He has continued to demonstrate His goodness, His sovereignty and His love.  And, He has shown us how important it is to reach out to others who are broken and lost.

Here are just a few of the amazing ways He remained faithful in our plight:

  • When moving in with my mom, we had to sell our condo—but sold it quickly and at a good profit.
  • I was due to give birth to second child while my husband was away on business and my over medicated mom and I were alone in the house. (home birth) The Lord stayed my daughter's birth for two weeks; she arrived less than twenty four hours after my husband came home; she came quickly and he had the blessing of delivering her.
  • When we came home one day to a 'For Sale' sign in the front yard and had to quickly relocate and find a home of our own again, He led us to the perfect place just a mile from my mother  and worked out every detail from the financing to the paint on the walls in every room and the park at the end of the block.
  • When the trials became draining in health or expense, He provided for our physical  and financial needs every step of the way through church, friends, new clients and a way of escape.  It was during this time that He prompted me to attend my first Community Bible Study class! It was a lifesaver to me in so many ways.
  • During the difficulties that arose after her death, the Lord imparted godly wisdom and discern in every transaction and the right words in every confrontation so that it would bring Him glory.
  • He used the trials to draw my husband and I closer in relationship to Him and each other showing us what ‘true love’ really is—sacrifice.
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:
but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;
but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 
1 Cor 10:13

These were difficult years. He has given us victory through it all. God has developed patience in us and perseverance, trust and faith. He has strengthened our walk with Him as a family. It has been a wonderful witness to His providence and provision for my children. So many lessons learned. So much blessing even in the hard things. We desired that this weight be lifted but, more importantly, that His perfect will be done.

Would we want to go through it again?  Probably not. But I would never again want to go through times such as these without Him right by my side.

With the suicide at the Arizona home, we decided it was time to put it on the market again.  We prayed that in would be inline with God's perfect timing. In one week and one open house, we received two offers. One dropped, the other buyer proceeded.  The paperwork was processed in a month, the loan was approved and funded in three days.  We closed on September 15th, my daughter's birthday, and received disbursement of funds on September 16th, our 27th wedding anniversary.

Coincidence?! I think not….! Here I raise my Ebenezer.....

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge,
that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.  
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think,
according to the power that worketh in us, 
Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus
throughout all ages, a world without end.

Ephesians 3:19-21

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

These Things Remain....

Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, 
but then we will be face to face. 
Now what I know is incomplete, 
but then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 
Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. 
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:12-13


I have faith. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ as Messiah and Lord. In His power to heal and save. I have faith. Faith in our heavenly Father who created all things through His breath and His Word.

Or so I think.... Or so I say....  But do I? Do I really?

A series of unfortunate events have entered our family scenario over the past five years or so. Small but significant in our lives. As time goes on, they bare increasingly collective weight upon us emotionally, physically and financially.

Things have intensified during the past several months in almost all these areas.  As Jacob did, I found myself wrestling with God on more than one occasion about many of these things.  Asking for His blessing. I've been on my knees in prayer many hours for many months over many of the same things. I do recognize the testing here. Waiting for the mountain to move. Waiting for the persistence in prayer to pay off. Waiting for resolution or absolution, whatever the case may be. It has not come. The pressure increases. The waiting is difficult. I know in my mind that the waiting will bear fruit but I struggle still.

Hard questions like this one come forth in hard times. The testing and trials of this life.  God wants us to back up our words with action. We say we have faith in Him but do we really mean it? He will test us in our faith. Guaranteed.

Do I have faith that He exists? Yes. Do I have faith that He sent His son to die for my transgressions, be raised again on the third day to new life? Yes. Do I believe that by confessing, repenting and receiving His gift of salvation, I receive His grace daily and have a future in eternity. Yes and Amen!

But yet....  Do I have true faith? If I don't have true faith, then I don't trust Him, do I?

Faith and Trust

Faith and trust go hand-in-hand.  Only through pure faith can you have complete trust in the Lord Almighty.  After all, He is unseen and often works in mysterious ways. You can't see Him, touch Him, smell Him. Not in absolutes like the things of this world. He defies explanation. He is beyond human comprehension. He is not of this world. Not of flesh but spirit. His instruction manual is one book, His Holy Word. Sounds simple but yet it isn't. He talks through prophets, apostles, angels, kings, parables and His Spirit. His technical school is on-the-job training through the school of 'hard knocks' in walking through this life one day at a time.  It takes a lifetime to learn His will and His ways.

Faith earns its muscle through the testing and trials of this life.  We do believe yet we lack faith. Our faith is often shallow.  We like to live in the faith that fulfills our human desires rather than the desires that God has for us. He desires us to become more like Him and acquire the things that are not of this world. To live in the Spirit rather than the flesh.

As long as things are flowing smoothly in our lives, we stand confident in our faith. However, when the winds of change blow our way and our world is turned upside down by the unforeseen, unexpected circumstances, we waiver. We grasp to hold onto something secure, something within our sphere of influence. We want to take control. We often put our faith in our own abilities to fix things. Our pure faith falters. Our trust walks right out the door taking our faith with it.  We fall on our faces suffering the consequences of lack of faith.

But then we remember Who is always in control.  Of EVERYTHING.

Who has ascended to heaven, and then descended? 
Who has collected the wind in His hands? 
Who has wrapped up waters in a garment? 
Who has established all the farthest points of the earth? 
What is His name, and what is His son’s name? Surely you know! 
Proverbs 30:4


As this journey continues, I find myself taking things one day at a time most of the time. Thanking Him for life and breath, for blessings, and focusing on the positives. Having faith.  But then, the darkness will begin to close in, the oppressiveness of the situation looms large, and I cry out in desperation and fear. I have lost hope.  I have lost sight of the One Who is control of everything.

I must walk by faith and not by sight.   For we live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7  If I lose hope, I have a faith that falters. I forget that He is in control. That He works all things together for good. That He is for me, not against me.

In the trials and the testing, do I falter in my hope because of fear and doubt? Do I take Him at His Word and believe ALL of His promises or do I subject His Word to my own interpretations? Most importantly, is my love for Him conditional upon a smooth, trial-free life?

I need to remind myself that I can make my plans but He directs my steps. Do I place my hope in myself or in other people?  Do I place my hope in the things of this world?  My reasoning is faulty at best because I don't see the whole picture. I lack His vision.


Perfect love casts out fear.  When I have doubt or fear, my love for Him is wavering. If our love for Him is pure, then we can boldly stand in victory no matter what the circumstance. We can trust in His ways and His will.

Love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Everyday and in every circumstance. Faith, Hope, Love. Fully devoted in heart and soul demonstrated by a fullness of walking life out in faith in His promises. Having the mind of Christ, to walk like Him, talk like Him, do what He would do. Living in the power of His love and pouring it out on others.

And, if love is the greatest of these, then we must walk out our lives in fullness of faith and hope knowing, beyond a doubt, that He is true to His Word always.  That He is LOVE. His love is honest, pure and unconditional. Our love for Him should be rooted in Who He is and not what He does for us.


Faith, hope and love--they work together for our good. Faith and hope produce trust, obedience, surrender, peace, and the unsurpassed, unconditional love that He desires.  We want what He wants. Our will becomes as His. We must have a secure faith and unrelenting hope in Him to love Him as He deserves. Our relationship with God becomes more important than anything. As we draw closer to Him, He draws closer to us. The darkness will gradually fade and everything will be brought into His marvelous light. 

Faith, hope and love. They give us humility and confidence as we approach the throne of grace. With purity in these three things, we win the spiritual battle and attain perfect peace. His is our peace. We are solely devoted to Him through a pure faith, hope and love. Nothing can separate us!

But now, in union with the Messiah Jesus, 
you who once were far away have been brought near 
by the blood of the Messiah.
For it is he who is our peace. 
Ephesians 2:13-14

May the God of peace Himself 
make you holy in every way. 
And may your whole being—spirit, soul, and body—remain blameless 
when our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, appears. 
1 Thessalonians 5:23

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers,
 nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 
  nor anything above, nor anything below, nor anything else in all creation
 can separate us from the love of God
 that is ours in union with the Messiah Jesus, our Lord. 
Romans 8:38-29

Tuesday, June 28, 2016


I AM.........

I am finite.

I can only be in one place at one time.

I am quiet.

I am soft spoken.

I am a child of God.

I am being refined by Him.

I am nothing without Him.

I am being tossed to and fro, unsettled.

I am not satisfied.

I am fearful.

I am selfish.

I am often struggling, kicking against the goads.

I am lacking in purity in love.

The Temporary

HE IS.........

He is infinite.

He is transcendent, always near yet far.

He has the voice of thunder and wind and waves.

He is the voice of Truth.

He is my Heavenly Father.

He is refinement itself.

He is everything.

He is the calm in the eye of the storm.

He is the only One who satisfies.

He casts out all fear.

He is forgiveness.

He is selfless.

He is perfect peace.

He is perfect love.

The Reality


Through Him:

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. 
Philippians 4:13

I am convinced of this, that the one who began a good action among you will bring it to completion by the Day of the Messiah Jesus. 
Philippians 1:6

 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,  so that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good action. 
2 Timothy 3:16-17

As all of us reflect the glory of the Lord with unveiled faces, we are becoming more like Him with ever-increasing glory by the Lord’s Spirit. 
2 Corinthians 3:18 

With Him, I am:
















Because HE IS, I can be all that He is!  By His grace and love outpoured...........

The Eternal

The impossible becomes possible. With Him. May Jesus Christ be magnified and God be glorified in and through us by the power of His unfailing love and Holy Spirit!

Sunday, April 24, 2016


He was of God
He was God.

All that divinity.
All that perfection.
All that holiness.

But why?
Why the suffering?
He knew why. He knew what for.
He knew His purpose. He understood.

But, it didn't ease the suffering. The agony.
It didn't ease the burden or lighten the load.
It didn't remove the pain or the burden of guilt and shame.
Yet, He did it anyway.

He endured. On a tree.
While He endured, He encouraged. He provided. He blessed.
No ridicule or scorn. No reviling. No anger. No wrath.
Just suffering.

He endured the cross until the end.
Because He loves us. He loves us so much that NOTHING ELSE MATTERED. 
Unto death. Into life.

Endless amazing love.
Endless amazing grace. 
The ultimate in sacrifice.


So much so that nothing else matters. NOTHING.
Physical death. Obedience. Sacrifice. For Him. For us.
Because He matters most. His ways. His desires. His purposes.

We have been called to a holy calling with divine purpose. With no fear.
'Why?' we ask. 
We share His calling. With no fear. Because of His perfect love.
Here. To suffer. Now.
According to His purpose.

He layed down His life. All of it. We have been called to do the same. Every day.
To know what He knows. To love as He loves.
May we not ask 'Why?' Only 'How?'

Glory be to our Savior, Jesus the Christ.
May we live to magnify Him. May our lives glorify Him.
As we press forward to receive the prize.

For LOVE! 

Thy Kingdom come quickly.....!