Wednesday, September 3, 2014


In our family, we're not much for watching television but do like to have a movie night once a week.  Usually family friendly stuff.  My youngest was at a sleepover last time so we decided to watch Source Code. (Honestly, I'd never heard of it but my husband requested it from Netflix.)

Interesting movie, engaging plot line. I won't be a spoiler but will share some detail as to what I find intriguing.

The main character is being sent back in time to figure out who set off a bomb on a commuter train killing hundreds. He has to go back again and again and again searching for more clues until he figures it out. The poor guy is confused, exhausted, frustrated and alone. Eventually, our hero solves the mystery, and, in turn, gets to make things right and inherits his freedom and a new future.

Right now, I feel very much like him. Uncertain, tired, frustrated (and a bit angry) and alone.

I'm in a fog. I'm in a holding pattern. I'm often just going through the motions. Though I know I am not alone as the Lord promises me that He is always with me, He is being very quiet, very subtle in guiding me through each day. He is keeping me waiting. Waiting upon Him, trusting Him, developing my faith and trust in light of the uncertainty of the future.

Days come and go. Some days are hard. Sleep is restless. The heart is heavy with hurt some days.

I know He is doing a work. The Light is there. Yet I still struggle even in the knowing. The days have turned into months. Years really. It is a slow process. I'm not getting any younger and most of it doesn't get any easier.

The journey is two-fold: 1) pulling out bad roots, ingrained habits that run long and deep and 2) making me rely solely upon Him and His will for me--no strongholds, no crutches, no dependencies-- so that He can lead me to a more meaningful purpose, one to which I've truly been called.

He tells me to remember that, for me, ALL is grace.

For us, ALL is grace.

We only get one shot at this life. Unlike my movie hero, I can't go back in time to change history or to make things right. I can't undo the wrongs that I've done or that have been done to me no matter how much I'd like to do it. But all is grace......

We must continually look to the only source. In His grace, it is not a race. Not a race against time to erase all the wrongs and make them right. No works to earn freedom and a new future. In Him, I am forgiven. In Him, I am redeemed. In Him, I'm given a future and a hope. In Him, we can 'pay it forward' rather than looking to the past.

He keeps no record of wrongs. He blots out our transgressions. He carries our shame.

He transforms me, if I yield to Him, and helps to relieve my burdens, give me rest, learn His ways. He helps me to forgive those who burdened me and love them anyway. Even those I might never see  again in this life.

All is grace. He makes me better going forward rather than going back in time. All is grace. Every breath I breathe. Every morning when I awaken. Every step I take. Every choice I make. He wants me to see, understand and embrace that grace. He supplies grace in every moment. I, too, need to give grace in every moment.

And, to give thanks. To give thanks during the pruning and plucking no matter how much it hurts. For me, giving thanks in difficulty has always been the hardest part.  "This is my will for you" He reminds me.

All is grace. His will is grace. His love is grace. He is grace. He is the only source that will get us through the toughest times, the deepest waters, the hardest hurts. Not only get us through but bring us through in glory. I don't deserve anything but, nonetheless, He gives me everything I could ever need. Undeserved, unmerited favor in the eyes of the Creator of the Universe....

Love. Light. Freedom. Future. GRACE.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Lord’s Spirit is, there is freedom.  
As all of us reflect the glory of the Lord with unveiled faces, we are becoming more like Him with ever-increasing glory by the Lord’s Spirit. 
2 Cor 3:17-18

ALL is grace. Our Lord is the source. He is the only One Who can make all things right and just.

Therefore, if anyone is in the Messiah, he is a new creation. Old things have disappeared, and—look!—all things have become new! 
2 Cor 5:17

Praising Him for the good, the bad and the ugly, knowing He works ALL things together for good according to His PERFECT will.....!
Now if the ministry of death that was inscribed in letters of stone came with such glory that the people of Israel could not gaze on Moses’ face (because the glory was fading away from it), will not the Spirit’s ministry have even more glory? 
2 Cor 3:7-8