A LEGACY OF FAITH

Feeling a bit melancholy at the moment.... I just broke one of my favorite cooking bowls! A pale green mixing pitcher. Circa 1950. Yes, it was probably considered a collectible of sorts but the value in it for me was not monetary but emotional. It belonged to my mom....

If you've been a follower of my blog, you know my mom has been gone about six years now. Bittersweet parting, she and I. Yet, I have many fond memories of life with Mom including this small green mixing pitcher.  It is one of a few things that belonged to her that I elected to keep after her passing. Many a perfect pancake and cookie concoction came from this little treasure. (And, yes, I found it on eBay today for approximately $50.00).

Today, I dropped it on the kitchen floor when taking it out of the cupboard. It immediately smashed into several large portions and countless shards of glass. In an instant, my bowl was reduced to rubble! Too shambled to put it back together the way it was before. My treasure, emotionally and physically, was no more. A part of my heart broke with it....

I suppose, in a way, it kept my memories of Mom alive. The good ones. It was as if she was still with us in a small way. I still felt attached to her, remembered her in the younger years and the better times. And, I was hoping to pass that bowl on to my daughter. Now what....?

The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through Him might believe.  John 1:7

Now what, indeed! The physical reminders of Mom are fewer and fewer as time passes. I want to hold on to that keepsake!  How breaking it makes me long to see her that much more! For His kingdom to come, for all to be made right, for everything to be put under His feet.

 But our High Priest offered Himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. Then He sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand. There He waits until His enemies are humbled and made a footstool under his feet. For by that one offering He forever made perfect those who are being made holy.  And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For He says,

 “This is the new covenant I will make
    with my people on that day, says the Lord:
I will put my laws in their hearts,
    and I will write them on their minds.”

Then He says,

“I will never again remember
    their sins and lawless deeds.” 

^{Hebrews 10:12-16 NLT}

Yet I know I must pick up the pieces and move on. In the here and now, it helps me to remember the important legacies that I will leave behind for my own children. Not just mixing bowls. The life lessons, the spiritual journey, the laughter, the love.  The intangibles. The treasures worth collecting.

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Matthew 6:21 KJV

To be a mom worth remembering rather than wishing and hoping to forget. No, not a 'perfect' mom. Just a mom who gives it everything she's got, fully relying on His power, pressing deepest into her faith in the weak moments, and flying by His Spirit everyday.  Being an ear and shoulder for them in the tough times, being tough on them and for them in their weak times, and on my knees when they need it and even when they think they don't. And, knowing when to let go and let God fully live in their lives rather than just through me. Passing on warmth, wisdom, wonder, and worthiness. His light. His love. Especially in the dark times when life doesn't make sense.

I will miss my bowl as I do miss my mom. As in all things, however, I must move onward in this journey remembering her limited legacy and doing my utmost in Him to leave something larger than myself for the blessings in my own nest. A treasure in a legacy of something, Someone larger than myself that will be here even when I am no longer. Something that can't be broken, taken away, or lost. Something that truly passes the test of time and transcends into eternity.... A legacy of faith.

"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."  Deuteronomy 6:7 KJV

"Then said he unto them, Therefore every scribe which is instructed unto the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which bringeth forth out of his treasure things new and old." Matthew 13:52 KJV

THE GAP FILLER

The 'gap'.  As Christians, we hear this term often throughout our walk. It is usually used in the conjunction with the word 'separation.' Most appropriately. Our separation from God: the gap between sinfulness and righteousness.

A friend and fellow servant of mine has been in the midst of intense spiritual battle for many moons now. Attacks on health, emotional well being, and physical temptations among various family members.  She has been on her knees constantly and asking others to do so as well. She wants to make it right. She is worn out and desperate. She needs rest.

My friend recently used the word ‘gap’ when describing her feelings of separation between truth and emotion. How poignant!  Knowing God's Word, knowing what she should do but being unable to separate herself emotionally from the pain and suffering to do what she knows she should. Wanting control but not being in control. Wanting to do 'the right thing' but not knowing exactly what that looks like.

“I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I found no one." Ezekiel 22:30

She needs a gap filler, THE gap filler. It is His grace that fills that ‘gap’! In His grace, and only there, will we find true rest.  Not absolution of responsibility. Not a free ticket to do what we like. A willingness to let go and let God do what He must.  A heart surrendered to Him knowing He knows best.  Not trying by our own might to make it right. Just knowing that He already has....

We don't need to fix it. He has done that for us. We need to experience the fullness of spiritual rest in not feeling like we need to be perfect in word and deed at every moment.  Rest from the pressure that we need to orchestrate every moment of life constantly planning and preparing to avoid the next catastrophe. Freedom to live our lives, love our families, and accept our appearances just as they are and as God has intended them to be (especially as Christians). Perfection is unattainable to us in this life yet we constantly strive to achieve it on our own.

Picture Jesus in the garden before His crucifixion…  Few looked upon Him as being perfect yet He was/is Perfection.You just know darkness was closing in, the weight of the evil one’s presence, the burden of sin.  Heavy on His heart and mind. He saw it, heard it, experienced it, bore it. He prayed, He struggled, He was obedient. He chose to submit all to the will of the Father. He let go and, because he let go, He bridged that gap for us then and He does it now. By His grace. Christ alone is THE Gap Filler. Nothing we do can compare or ever fill that place....

Strive for peace not for perfection. He knows your struggle. Experience freedom in Him. You are not expected to react ‘perfectly’ in every situation. You are human and of the flesh. He knows.  He uses this time to draw us near and draw near to us.  He knows your heart. He covers us, especially during these times, with His gift of grace.  Embrace that gift; it will bring you peace. Experience rest in Him. It is truly not meant to be easy; it is meant to grow us in ways that are often difficult and painful as we let go and let God have His way. Your beautiful obedience will help you through the darkest of times.

The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine. Isaiah 9:2

I’ve been there, in my own ways, many times before. Those dark, lonely places. Gather together with like-minded brothers and sisters to pray and chat. I can think of nothing more important for this journey through despair than precious prayer and fellowship! Surround yourself with light. Edify and encourage one another and remind each other of His constant grace that overcomes our weakness and love that conquers all. His grace that fills the gap and shines light to shatter the darkness.

So, rest and rejoice. Repent and recommit as He breathes life and light into your life through His amazing grace. I pray for your peace as you become perfected through the pain and trial and for you to see the beauty in the struggle as you become more like Him! Praise Him for His goodness and grace!