WHAT IS 'FAMILY?'

Alone. Lonely. Lonesome. Solitary. Abandoned. By oneself. Unaccompanied. Words that sound empty, sad, painful. Things we usually want to avoid at all costs. There are certainly a lot of negative connotations associated with these words.

Truth be told, I've struggled off and on throughout my days with these negative words associations. Have spent quite a bit of time by myself. I'm an only child. My dad traveled a lot so both my mom and I spent a lot of time alone. I had a very small extended family whose members lived in the Midwest and East coast (we're on the West coast) so we rarely saw them. I married into a small family whose members were again in the Midwest and East coast and somewhat estranged from each other so it has been just my husband, myself and our two kids. And, unfortunately, we now have only one surviving parent between the two of us.  

As God would have it, I ran across this beautiful verse last year during a season in my life where I was feeling very isolated:  

God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;
But the rebellious dwell in a dry land. Psalms 68:6

I clung to this verse that day and have never let go. "God sets the solitary in families"..... I truly seek claim to that promise and look for it on a daily basis. And, He is faithful and good to fulfill it. But never does He do things in the way we expect....


Over the years, He didn't give me more additions to my physical family; however, He has brought a few people into my life that I can call friend or look at them as family. He has increased my family by giving us an extended spiritual one. Through church, homeschooling and bible study. Many of these giving people bless me in ways my physical family never could. And, yes, the Lord does fill our cup to overflowing in His perfect timing. 

A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

As you might imagine, birthdays and certain holidays are among the most difficult for me to be without family. You really tend to sense how 'alone' you are on days where tradition is to gather together with family. Especially birthdays. We all like to be celebrated on our special day. Even after all these years, I still like to be remembered on that day.   

I just celebrated another year of life. Honestly, I was dreading it. I did my own birthday chant: "Nothing special. Rarely remembered. No expectations...." This year was different.  I received the nicest gifts, cards, and Facebook notes from sweet friends in all my 'families'!  Just when I needed it most. Those cards and comments are like treasure to me. Little nuggets of gold! A sweet birthday gift in the form of a promise fulfilled from the One who loves me most....

"Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

Your kindnesses never go unnoticed especially by the One who really matters.  God shows His amazing love in many ways including those beautiful random acts of kindness through others. Never miss an opportunity to reach out to those you come in contact with to extend a word of thanks, appreciation or encouragement. Reach out to those who need 'family'. Be inclusive. Love on 'em any way you can! Even the smallest of gestures can make a huge difference to those whose tanks need filling. Bless others in this way and you will be blessed!

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:13

SING A NEW SONG

Brutus, our sweet canary, had a bit of a mishap about three months ago. As is customary every few months, we took him to the bird boutique to get his toe nails clipped. The woman behind the counter was a bit rough in handling him; she tweaked his wing. Brutus was very still and quiet all the way home and upon being returned to his cage. We discovered he couldn't fly, only hop and flutter a bit. In short, Brutus had a dislocated wing. So, a week and half and a couple of vet visits later, Brutus can fly a bit but mostly sits alone in his cage, taking it day by day, just waiting. Waiting to get better, waiting to heal. With no song in his heart or on his tongue. I missed his songs. (We had quite the morning repertoire going, he and I.) That is what canaries do best. They sing the most beautiful songs…

I've had much spiritual growth over the years but, in recent months, times have been most difficult. A lot of dying to self and unlearning habits, confronting my past and the hurts that lie there, seeking to understand, accept and live His love and grace more fully and trying to find myself for who He made me to be. A LOT of pain, some darkness. A LOT of wrestling with my flesh. A LOT of being alone in my cage waiting to get better, to be healed. Trying to find the joy despite the circumstance with no fear. Waiting on Him. Praying for wisdom and revelation. Waiting for my song, my true song, to find its way back into my heart so I can fly again.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Cor 5:17

It has been worth the wait! I've turned the corner and am becoming a conqueror by Christ Who strengthens me.  I am once again becoming a new creation in Him.  I am healing. I am seeing things with new eyes, His eyes, and thinking more with the mind of Christ. I am singing a new song: a song of joy in the suffering, a song of hope in the waiting, and song of thanksgiving to the One Who is Faithful and True and the blessings He provides to those who seek Him diligently.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. 

Hebrews 11:6

Oh, sing to the Lord a new song!
For He has done marvelous things;His right hand and His holy arm have gained Him the victory. Psalm 98:1

He IS there. He is listening. He is watching. He is waiting. He is Love. He is Light. He is Life. He makes all things new including you. If you are yielded, He can truly do a marvelous work in YOU.

He has increased my faith. He has been victorious! Certainly He has yet more work to do in this heart; however, I face whatever comes stronger than before. By the way, Brutus is singing a new song again, too.  Beautiful as ever. And, he is a new creation learning to cope with limited flying abilities and he is doing just fine.....

For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Cor 2:16

AFRAID OF THE DARK?!

Some trials last a day, some a week, some a month and some last more years than we care to count. The latter is the case with my son who, in his younger days, experienced a relentless struggle for and against sleep. In his youth, he was a child that was wired, since his birth, with a desire to stay awake and would do anything to make it so. His sleeplessness took many forms over the years from numerous unnecessary night feedings as he looked for comfort and companionship as a baby to his own method of self-soothing by moaning and singing while rocking on his hands and knees.

No matter how much we, as loving parents, tried to lull him into sleep, convincing him of our constant presence and protection, my darling child was never convinced that we meant what we said. No manner of logic would appeal to him. No matter how many opportunities we had to gain his trust, they come back void. And, still, even as he got older, we continued to struggle with my son's sleep issues as it affected his relationships, his schooling, and his view of the world around him.

As the years pass and we continued to pray, study and read about this issue, the words 'separation' and 'fear' have came to the forefront. Fear of the dark and fear of separation from others or being alone. Fear of the unexpected and unpredictable. My son didn't accept the reassurance that we were near and would come to his aide. He didn't fully trust the immeasurable love we have for him as our son. He didn't want to be alone, especially in the dark, feeling abandoned, uncertain of what will happen, and unable to control his environment.

Recently, God in His still small voice whispered in my ear saying 'And, just how much do you trust Me? How much do you trust me when you feel alone and as if no one cares? How much do you trust me in the dark , uncertain places of your life? How much do you trust Me when you realize how little control you have over your circumstance?" He reminded me of His Word, transcending through all time, from Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do no fear; I will help you." and Psalm 9:10 "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you".

I must confess that I am often afraid of the dark and lonely places in my life. Being an only child and having lost my parents, loneliness, at times, engulfs me. I find myself more fearful of being separated from my husband and children. In those moments, I know that I do not fully trust my Creator to provide His infinite love, provision, or protection as He promises. He gave His perfect Son, the Light of the world, to rescue me from the darkness yet, often I still hold on to the things of the past, the more comfortable places and old habits, to find solace, rather than choosing to walk in His light and focusing on a future with Him.

Christ came not only to rescue me from certain death but to redeem me from the snare of fear and lies with which Satan binds me. Paul reminds me of this release in Romans 8:15 stating " For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

Satan desires to entrap me in doubting the Word of the Lord and His faithfulness. Christ wants to release me by transforming me into His image. Jesus was at peace in body, mind and in spirit throughout His earthly journey as He focused on the will of His Father. When the storm raged around the apostles and their boat, Jesus slept. When He was alone for forty days in the wilderness, Jesus never doubted that God was with Him. He gave thanks for the meager food presented to feed 5,000 never doubting that His Father would provide. Jesus kept his eye on the prize at all times.

It was both an exhausting and heartbreaking journey for our sweet son and us. Yet, we were in the battle together; I, too, never left him nor forsook him. I did what I could to help him; however, his battle with fears of darkness and being alone was ultimately his alone to fight. He had to learn to trust, as do I, that God's word is true and pure. He had to believe with his entire being, as I must, that God keeps His promises, and continue to maintain his faith in things yet unseen. We both must truly die to ourselves daily and our own desire to be in control, fully surrendering to our heavenly Father. A tough battle for both of us, especially for a child, but one that will, in the long run, make us more like our Savior, Lord and King. No manner of self soothing will take His place. Nothing can fill the voids in our lives like His promise of unconditional love, care, and deliverance. His will is perfect.

In the words of Paul, '... in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.' Romans 8:37-39

In this walk of faith and trust, let us pick up our shields of faith and arm ourselves with His sword of truth and become more than conquerors in His mighty name!