HERE I RAISE MY EBENEZER

Last week, on Thursday, September 15th and Friday, September 16th, 2016, our household raised an Ebenezer to our great, wise and merciful God!  A perfect ending to a 17 year journey of testing and trial for myself and my family.

Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen,

and called the name of it Ebenezer

[that is, The stone of help], saying, “Here the Lord helped us.”

1 Sam 7:12

The past 17 years have been filled with many trials, much testing, grief, sadness, and sacrifice concerning my side of the family. In short, my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in the year 1999. My dad passed away suddenly in April of 2003. (And, I gave birth to my two children during this time.) We assisted Mom in moving from Virginia to California where we lived together for almost two years. It was two years full of constant drama—anger, resentment, manipulation, lies, hallucinations—and filled with much prayer and many tears.
 
Mom decided to move to Arizona with her boyfriend, who was really using her for financial gain, in 2005. Mom passed away in July of 2007 leaving me with a mess of financial red tape and a house in Arizona that I couldn’t sell.  We subsequently decided to rent the house so we became long distance landlords.  Many a headache and heartache occurred during the nine year ordeal of renting including significant property damage and a suicide on the property.

In light of all of this, I committed myself to explain it this way: the righteous and the wise, along with everything they do, are in the hands of God. Furthermore, as to love and hate, no human being knows everything concerning them.

Ecclesiastes 9:1

And yet, God has led us on an amazing journey the past 17 years.  One of faith building, character building, hope and blessing. He has taught us more about true sacrifice, about the depth of unconditional love, about forgiveness and pure grace. He demonstrated His grace, His might, His sovereignty and His love every step of the way.  He has continued to demonstrate His goodness, His sovereignty and His love.  And, He has shown us how important it is to reach out to others who are broken and lost.


Here are just a few of the amazing ways He remained faithful in our plight:

• When moving in with my mom, we had to sell our condo—but sold it quickly and at a good profit.
• I was due to give birth to second child while my husband was away on business and my over medicated mom and I were alone in the house. (home birth) The Lord stayed my daughter's birth for two weeks; she arrived less than twenty four hours after my husband came home; she came quickly and he had the blessing of delivering her.
• When we came home one day to a 'For Sale' sign in the front yard and had to quickly relocate and find a home of our own again, He led us to the perfect place just a mile from my mother  and worked out every detail from the financing to the paint on the walls in every room and the park at the end of the block.
• When the trials became draining in health or expense, He provided for our physical  and financial needs every step of the way through church, friends, new clients and a way of escape.  It was during this time that He prompted me to attend my first Community Bible Study class! It was a lifesaver to me in so many ways.

• During the difficulties that arose after her death, the Lord imparted godly wisdom and discern in every transaction and the right words in every confrontation so that it would bring Him glory.
• He used the trials to draw my husband and I closer in relationship to Him and each other showing us what ‘true love’ really is—sacrifice.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:
but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;
but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 
1 Cor 10:13

These were difficult years. He has given us victory through it all. God has developed patience in us and perseverance, trust and faith. He has strengthened our walk with Him as a family. It has been a wonderful witness to His providence and provision for my children. So many lessons learned. So much blessing even in the hard things. We desired that this weight be lifted but, more importantly, that His perfect will be done.

Would we want to go through it again?  Probably not. But I would never again want to go through times such as these without Him right by my side.

With the suicide at the Arizona home, we decided it was time to put it on the market again.  We prayed that in would be inline with God's perfect timing. In one week and one open house, we received two offers. One dropped, the other buyer proceeded.  The paperwork was processed in a month, the loan was approved and funded in three days.  We closed on September 15th, my daughter's birthday, and received disbursement of funds on September 16th, our 27th wedding anniversary.

Coincidence?! I think not….! Here I raise my Ebenezer.....

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge,

that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.  

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think,

according to the power that worketh in us, 

Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus

throughout all ages, a world without end.

Amen.

Ephesians 3:19-21

A LAUNDRY LOVER

Believe it or not, I actually enjoy doing laundry. In a physical sense, I like the routine of it, the comfort of hearing the water sloshing and the dryer tumbling (especially in the fall when I can hear the football game in the background). In a spiritual sense, I feel more connected to my family, it fills me with a sense of security, and gives me a feeling of love in the purity in its purpose for me.  I even make my own laundry soap and dryer balls just to show my family how much I care!  Crazy, I know!

It is a constant in life. And, I love the smell and feel of clean clothes! There is fruit in the labor of washing and drying and demonstrating love in this way. I can see the clothing on my husband, my children, my father-in-law. Not instant gratification but almost. I take comfort in the routine, joy in the fruit, and find a sense of purpose and fulfillment in all of it.  Yes, all that from doing one simple task.  But, every once-in-a-while, something creeps in and tries to steal some of my joy.....

The dreaded tissue!  Left in someone's pocket. You just know it was used for something not so clean. Yuk! Hidden in the fabric during the wash and dry cycles only to come out tattered and torn. Of no use to anyone anymore. Scattering its little fragments all over my clean clothes! So annoying and disruptive.

I just went through this scenario yesterday. Remnants of used tissue all over one load of laundry. Oh, not again! So, I sorted, picked and plucked my way through the load to remove it.

In a way, that tissue reminded me of those little fragments of tatteredness in our lives. Those hurts, wounds and the tattered parts of our heart that have never healed. They often surface out of nowhere at the most inconvenient times. They serve no useful purpose other than to remind us of the dreaded parts of our past, convince us that we have more work to do, that we are still not doing life the right way.  We are not clean, fresh, pure. We are still tattered, torn and useless.  When we are with others, we sense our brokenness and just know we will never amount to anything. And, yes, sometimes those tattered places feel more comfortable than the wide open spaces so we retreat believing something that is not Truth.

O Lord my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me. Psalm 30:2

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

Our relationship with Christ should be every bit as comforting and joy-filled as a fresh, clean load of laundry. WITH NO TATTERED TISSUES!  He has done the plucking. The work is done. He has washed us clean with His blood and His Word. He gives us a new beginning. He gives us a fresh start, a new mind, and new heart. Every morning! Let Him transform you, keeping your eyes fixed on what lies ahead rather than what you've left behind....

 

In Him, we have no need of the old things. They serve no useful purpose. They just weigh us down and keep us from our usefulness for Him and others.  If anything, we should use them as a reminder of His grace, His mercy, and in motivation to help others.  Therein lies the beauty of brokenness.....

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."  2 Corinthians 5:17

  ^"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but a new creation." Galatians 6:15

Fortunately for us, we are not disposable like a tissue. We are healed and given new life in Him. Claim that promise everyday!  Every time you see that tattered tissue in your own dirty laundry and start to doubt yourself or Him.

“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth;
And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind." Isaiah 65:17

Your past does not define who you are with Him. He sees you as complete, healed, and whole with Him abiding in your heart. The tattered parts have come together in the beauty of His forgiveness, His love and His grace.  You are nothing but BEAUTIFUL in His eyes!

 He has made EVERYTHING beautiful..... Yes, even YOU!

WHAT IS 'FAMILY?'

Alone. Lonely. Lonesome. Solitary. Abandoned. By oneself. Unaccompanied. Words that sound empty, sad, painful. Things we usually want to avoid at all costs. There are certainly a lot of negative connotations associated with these words.

Truth be told, I've struggled off and on throughout my days with these negative words associations. Have spent quite a bit of time by myself. I'm an only child. My dad traveled a lot so both my mom and I spent a lot of time alone. I had a very small extended family whose members lived in the Midwest and East coast (we're on the West coast) so we rarely saw them. I married into a small family whose members were again in the Midwest and East coast and somewhat estranged from each other so it has been just my husband, myself and our two kids. And, unfortunately, we now have only one surviving parent between the two of us.  

As God would have it, I ran across this beautiful verse last year during a season in my life where I was feeling very isolated:  

God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;
But the rebellious dwell in a dry land. Psalms 68:6

I clung to this verse that day and have never let go. "God sets the solitary in families"..... I truly seek claim to that promise and look for it on a daily basis. And, He is faithful and good to fulfill it. But never does He do things in the way we expect....


Over the years, He didn't give me more additions to my physical family; however, He has brought a few people into my life that I can call friend or look at them as family. He has increased my family by giving us an extended spiritual one. Through church, homeschooling and bible study. Many of these giving people bless me in ways my physical family never could. And, yes, the Lord does fill our cup to overflowing in His perfect timing. 

A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

As you might imagine, birthdays and certain holidays are among the most difficult for me to be without family. You really tend to sense how 'alone' you are on days where tradition is to gather together with family. Especially birthdays. We all like to be celebrated on our special day. Even after all these years, I still like to be remembered on that day.   

I just celebrated another year of life. Honestly, I was dreading it. I did my own birthday chant: "Nothing special. Rarely remembered. No expectations...." This year was different.  I received the nicest gifts, cards, and Facebook notes from sweet friends in all my 'families'!  Just when I needed it most. Those cards and comments are like treasure to me. Little nuggets of gold! A sweet birthday gift in the form of a promise fulfilled from the One who loves me most....

"Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

Your kindnesses never go unnoticed especially by the One who really matters.  God shows His amazing love in many ways including those beautiful random acts of kindness through others. Never miss an opportunity to reach out to those you come in contact with to extend a word of thanks, appreciation or encouragement. Reach out to those who need 'family'. Be inclusive. Love on 'em any way you can! Even the smallest of gestures can make a huge difference to those whose tanks need filling. Bless others in this way and you will be blessed!

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:13